I can not begin to tell you how many days, hours, minutes I spent trying to understand why my partner thought in their own words “growth and knowing oneself” was not important. It was the constant excuse he’d use for why my growth was not important.

He also, in so many words. Described to me, how he was perfectly happy the way he was. How he had no use to learn new things or grow because he did not see them as necessary and for the most part, burdensome.

This went against all conventional understand of what happy people do and the natural desire to always be better.

It comes from the idea that no one is perfect and everyone has room to grow.

What is perhaps most hurtful, is that my growth and happiness, these things in return, have no value to him. Living with someone who is self absorbed is a difficult journey.

I suppose, if I thought I was perfect, then anything not like me would be imperfect. I wonder if he thinks I’m the problem and not him. Anyway, in my hearts of hearts, it’s clear I have myself to focus on from now.

Nothing you can do with someone unless they are willing to change and want enough, desire enough, and understand enough the importance of being earnest and a better person.


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